FireLink

Good Lord Wiggle, don't even think of having kids until you are like 30, have stabile careers, and have travelled and enjoyed life.

chase1 said:

Good Lord Wiggle, don't even think of having kids until you are like 30, have stabile careers, and have travelled and enjoyed life.

Chelsea I am 22 years old and I have a 7 month old son. I am married and he was NOT an "accident"...we tried for him. A career was not what was important to me. I WANTED to be a mom! He was the best thing that ever happened to me. My life would not be the same without him and I could not imagine my life without him! We are ready for more. Some people think we are crazy but that is what we want. I can't stand people who think that kids ruin their life....then they should not have kids! Or people who ave kids then don't take care of them ...they let everyone else do it for them... My best advice if you want a baby and you AND your husband feel that you are both ready then go for it. Money is definitely a factor though so make sure that if you are going to wait on our career that your husband has the ability to support a family.

mrs_firewalker said:

ONE MORE THING......I didn't want to wait until I was 30. I wanted to still be young enough to enjoy my children and be able to go out and do things with them. I didn't want to be one of those couples that get mistaken for the GRANDPARENTS instead of the parents. BUT you are still only 19...I would give it a few more years. Make sure ou get all the partying and everything out of your system because there is none of that after you have a child. And if there is...well then what can I say but : l

Weigl said:

See, having a family is more important to me than a career. I guess you could say I'm old fashioned. And everyone acts like having a baby ruins your life, who says you can't travel and enjoy life with a kid? My whole family got married "young" like my husband and I did, and a lot of other people didn't agree with that and I lost friends over it, but other than my grandmother a long time ago, no one in my extended family has ever been divorced because we know how to have a healthy marriage and family. They also had children "young", and things were hard sometimes, but were all about family and the great things that we do together. We do everything together and we love. ( In case you were wondering, no were not freaky mormons or anything, were just a nice loving family) And now I'm ranting....

Remember, though, that any phase of fire or EMS school is extremely difficult when you have children. The schools are labor and time intensive and sometimes kids don't understand. They think you are ignoring them, or don't like them anymore. They will tell you that......I know, I've heard it.

I think if I were you, I would consider at least getting my FF certification and landing a job before trying for children. If nothing else you'd have insurance, FMLA, vacation time, and a job to return to afterwards.

My goodness! Well, I can only tell my experience so here goes. First of all children will not ruin your life. They will, however, change it. MAJORLY! Keep in mind that you are going to be going through ALOT of change/stress in the fire service as well. You and your husband need to decide how much life stress you want to take on all at once. It's true, planning does need to occur here. I didn't have kids until I was 27. Thank goodness because I am SOOOO not the person I was when I was 19. You and your husband are going to change a lot in the next few years. Hopefully together! You will not be the same person you are now. Oh, I think you will probably have the same values you do now ( strong marriage, etc...) but how you think about things or how you feel or react to things will definately change.

What tsmith said is correct. You need to have a job with FMLA, etc. Before you have kids. YOU NEED THIS. No matter how much you love each other, you must have a financial base, at least, or your kids may not have all they need! This is practical! He's also correct about the time or lack of it, that you have with your children and they WILL tell you one way or the other. My 10 year old hates EMS. ( Yes, I am old, too, Deputy 13! ;) ) my 5 year old doesn't care and my 3 year old loves all things fire related.

I LOVE my children and I would not change anything we went through to have them I just want you to think of all sides of the coin. Keep your chin up and your prayers too! :) God will always be there!

I agree with everyone else kids do not ruin your life. They make it a wonderful one. Having someone to come home to or be around that loves you unconditionally is awesome. My wife and I have a 8 month old. It will never get old coming home and seeing her face light up when I walk though the door. It is a BLESSING really is. 19 I think is young to have children. Having a baby does change your life especially in the first few months. When picking between house chorus or taking a quick power nap when the babies are sleeping. SLEEP will not be in your vocab long hehe. It was stress full especially if I work the next day or I had a busy night the night before. I am not trying to talk you our of having kids because they are awesome. I would really think hard first before having them right now. Kids are very expensive insurance, paid time off and so forth is the way to go. You will get time off to have them but if you have them it will be hard to try and start work. Firefighting is very time consuming especially when you are starting out. It sucks now for me I miss things while I am gone for 24hr shift. I hate to work over time but I do when its needed. All i am saying make sure you are really ready really ready before you start trying

Weigl says ...

Ya, looking back on that topic....it was really a dumb idea. I'm just one of those woman that are born to have a family, ya know? I just love kids so much, but right now is DEFINITALLY not the right time! And Jed, my husband and I have decided before we even got married, that we would have like 2 kids of our own, then we would either adopt or foster. When we get older and our kids have moved out of the house I definitaly want to foster. I have a few friends that have gone through foster homes and I would love to be able to support  and strengthen kids like that!

You can foster mine for a few weeks, but then you might not want any of your own, the little turds act just like me. :-) You can see pic on my profile. They're good looking like me to. :-)

ACB

I just wanted to say that I am 23 anh have two children. My husband is full time firefighter, yes its different in your sitiuation. I was 19 when I got pregnat with my son, no he wasnt planned, but he wasnt an accident either. My children are the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. I am a stay at home mom right now. I can say that I am happy that I had them while I am young, because now my oldest will be starting school in september, my youngest is not old enough to go yet,and when she is and they aer both in school I can then focus on what I want to do. I'm sure there are online courses that you can take at home and there may be some schools that offer some sort of day care services while you attend classes. But the choice is ultimatly yours, and I am happy that i had my children while I was younger, and I wouldnt change it for the world. I hope that you maek the desision that best fits you and your life.