Group Forums >> Dealing with Tragedy >> Hope this Group will help us
Hope this Group will help us
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Posted 7 months ago I have noticed on the Forums that a few of us lately have had some bad times. I hope this group will take off and we can share our thoughts and help each other out. I guess since I started this group I'll go first. February this year was a tough one for me ,,,, I responded to my first MVA fatality from my Vol. Dept. and just happened to be first on scene. A roll back wrecker topped a blind hill at a high rate of speed and hit an SUV head on. The young lady in the SUV was killed instantly and it was a very bad scene I won't get into the graphics. Needless to say I was there about 4 hours and enough time for all of this to sink in. The scene was about 100 yards long and 75 yards of it was total destruction. I did my part and went home to be with the family. well guess what kept going through my mind? Yep the entire previous 4 hours, CISD was not implemented at all so I was stuck to dealing with it on my own. My wife was the shoulder to cry on and my best friend at my full time station was the ear to listen.
The MVA sent my emotions into overdrive. I was very sad then I was very pissed at the other driver then I went back to being sad then the train Vs. pedestrian deal went down. I couldn't do anything for either one of those folks but I did stabilize and load the man that was driving the roll back. I can see something or smell something and my mind goes back to those scenes. I did the first No-NO in dealing with the MVA I hit the Jim Beam and went to bed (I am human and I do make mistakes, lesson learned there) I told the wife that I didn't want to go to bed with those visions in my head. CISD NEVER TOOK PLACE, and that piss's me off. I have even thought about turning my gear in at the Vol.Dept. I don't want to be part of an organization that can't take care of their own.
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| Posted 7 months ago You are so right. We in the Fire Departments only know what each other goes through. We need to have each other to fall back on. I too have had 2 fatalities in one week and as I said in one of the other forums, I had a rough time. From sad to mad back to sad and what did I do wrong. I was at the head of both gentlemen telling them they would be alright, even though in my heart I knew they weren't going to be. I did what I could and that is what I need to realize. This is a JOB whether volunteer or paid. I choose it and I will stay with it come hell or high water. I do this for myself but to help the community. To all those that are in this line, I salute you and am proud of you. WE WILL SURVIVE BECAUSE WE HAVE EACH OTHER. Stay safe and remember YOU are the most important one at a scene. |
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| Posted 7 months ago Your first fatality will always be with you. Mine was a nurse I had worked with while doing my clinicals at the emergency room. He was on his way to work in the early morning when he had a single car MVA. At first I didn't recognize him... but when I did... it was hard. He was a yound guy that was full of life. He had a beautiful family that included a new baby boy... in an instant he was gone. He was deceased before we arrived on scene but it struck me as sad that here was someone who lived his life saving other... but in his time of need no one was there to save him. I realized that if I was going to make this my career... I had to find a way to deal with death. I found the best person to turn to was my partner. He understands because he is usually right beside me. I also have learned to disassociate myself. I do the best I can and know that the final outcome is out of my hands. I don't bring it home to my family because they don't understand our line of work. I keep them as my soft place to fall. As for trying to find the solution in a bottle of Jim Beam... not a good choice!!! |
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| Posted 6 months ago Luckily, most of us do have family to lean on in times like this. My wife will listen to me as long as I don't go into great detail. She doesn't like the graphics. But she is my sounding board. Something we have implemented at our dept., not really cisd, but after action review. Here we discuss the call and do have a chance to vent. It's not professional, but it will help. |
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| Posted 6 months ago I'm lucky. My husband does this mess too, so he is definately my sounding board! I still remember my first code. 13 years ago! Lots of things have happened since then and no death gets easier. Actually my first reaction is usually anger. Especially if I knew them. When my squad member. Andy, died in a MVC, I was furious! I wasn't even sure why. Then I had the guilt. No matter what I did, he was still dead. Me, the Medic could not save him. Then the sadness hit and finally acceptance. Had there not been CISD, we would never have survived! If your department does not have CISD, then they are grossly negligent in my opinion. That is WRONG! Contact your state EMS (website) people and they should have info. TJEMS.org is our local site. OEMS.com is our state site. CISD is something that must be there! Hopefully it won't be used very often ( perhaps that is the problem) but it needs to be there. If stuff still bugs you a year later, you still need CISD. Useit! |