Group Forums >> Dealing with Tragedy >> BROTHERED NON EXISTANT IN MY FIRE HOUSE
BROTHERED NON EXISTANT IN MY FIRE HOUSE
|
Posted 6 months ago
This isn't a life and death tragedy but a tragedy none the less my firehouse had a chicken BBQ today I went down there and was totally ignored I tried to help out but they wouldn't let me how can you trust the people in your firehouse with your life when they can't even treat you with respect and dignity ? this is a big question I'd like answered what would you all do if it were you should I transfer to a different fire house? I'm confused. |
|
| Posted 6 months ago In a small town fire company, you really never see these kinds of issues. No matter where you go though, there are "clicks". Now a click is a group of people that get along, do things between themselves, and pass judgement down to those who are not among them. Now, this is pure ignorance. I am in the Army and this happens here. It is kind of like politics. If you are not part of a group, you are not accepted. It is tough and there really is no way to fix the issue. To transfer to another department would just let them win. Sometimes trying to sit down with one will get some answers but not necessarily acceptance. You are there to do a job in the foremost. If the comfort level goes awry, then maybe it would be an idea to go somewhere else. I would not. Where I am stationed, I know I am still the outsider, or the new guy. I offer help and make as many calls as I can. I try to earn the respect of the other members. I am not looking for approval. I am a volunteer. If they do not want me there, they will not push me out the door. It will ultimately be my decision. Hang in there. After all, it is just a chicken barbeque. Take care!!! |
|
| Posted 6 months ago First of all, let me say, I am not a firefighter. I work EMS, which is another close knit (dysfunctional) family. Respect is a two way street, however, it does have to be earned. I don't know you or how long you have been in the fire services. I personally ran into this problem when I first started EMS in a rural county in Kentucky. I was young (20) and brand new, fresh out of class...and didn't know a damn thing other than what I had learned from a book. I stayed at that service for a year and a half before moving on...and I'm glad I stayed that long...by the time I left, they'd found new prey :)LOL I think that transfering houses won't help, running from a problem doesn't make it go away. I'm sure by now too, you know how word travels with "the family". Whatever reputation you have will follow you... On that note--Maybe it's time for you to have a conversation with yourself? Or to open a dialogue with your brothers? If you do decide to talk to them, make sure that you word what you say carefully. How you say things is much more important than what you say.... Just because they are shunning you for the moment does not mean that you tuck tail and run. Trust them, respect them and listent to them and eventually they will trust and respect you. It may be a long road and one that you want to leave at times, in the end though, it will be well worth it...Give it some time...if they never treat you like one of their own, go find a new house :) This is just one EMT's opinion...worth a hill of beans...GOOD LUCK!!!! |
|
| Posted 4 months ago Clicks are hard to break. I do not know why they form in the Fire Service. If everyone is there to do the same thing, why are some ignored? Ignorace is a reason. I am in a fire service related group where clicks are present. I am not in a click, as far as I know. I am in the group for a reason, not to be in a click. I did not join the group to be ignored, nor did I join to ignore someone else. There are people in another click that do things to try to get a reaction out of me. I have no clue why. If they ignore me, why would they want a reaction from me? Maybe they think that if I react, then they get the upper hand. Hope this helps. |
|
| Posted 4 months ago This is simply human behavior. People are naturally drawn to others that are more like them regardless of the reason you are all there. As long as the "clicks" don't get in the way of the "JOB" then just play it by and ear and just roll with it. It will eventually even itself out. |
|
| Posted 4 months ago I don't know how new you are but I'm dealing with this now at my new department. It doesn't bother me though. In time they'll warm up to you as long as they see that you are trust worthy , trainable , willing to work and not a dumb glory hound or flash in the pan. This ain't my first dance so I know it will work out . Just don't rush it or push yourself on them. Help someone is some way everyday. Standing at the ready, Tail wagging; ready to run !! |
|
|
| Posted 4 months ago What bothers me the most about these situations is that when someone gets in trouble or suspended, you have a split department about it. There are always two sides. People are more willing to gripe about it then rather doing their community service, such as, volunteer firefighter. It is sickening to me. |