FireLink

Another way is to talk shit about the military

but their whole job is to defend innocent civilians like ME, right?  i just call everybody "General" to be safe.

(I'm sorry, i meant to put this in the Kitchen, not Volunteering.  a bit stressed out today.)

haha funny

The Seven Degrees of Blonde

FIRST DEGREE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said ‘How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here!’ and hung up. The husband said, ‘Who was that?’ The wife answered, ‘I don’t know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.’

SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, ‘Hmm, this person looks familiar.’ The second blonde says, ‘Here, let me see!’ So, the first blonde hands her the compact. The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, ‘You dummy,it’s me!’

THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, ‘No, honey, don’t do it!!!’ The blonde replies, ‘Shut up, you’re next!’

FOURTH DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, ‘Go ahead, ask me, .. I know ‘em all.’ A friend says, ‘OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin ?’ The blonde replies, ‘Oh, that’s easy it’s W.’

FIFTH DEGREE

Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

A: ‘Is it mine?’

SIXTH DEGREE

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, ‘That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .’

SEVENTH DEGREE

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, ‘I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!’

I love the blond jokes thank you.

now that would get me riled up, but another quick way is when your only around 14 or 15 you can act like you know more than people who are probably a lil over twice your age.

Another on not to say to a cop:

"here hold my beer while I get my insurance, hey you want one"

two guys playing golf on a slow Monday, they get behind two slower playing women for 5 holes.  One guy turns to the other and says "Go up there and ask if we can play through.  Don't want to be here all day."  Guy one walks up and trots back and says "You'll have to do it.  Thats my wife and my mistress playing together don't know how they met?"  So the other guy walks up there and trots back and says    "Huh, Small world"